My breathing got worse Tuesday pm, and I got bummed, and I missed my afternoon snack (which helped so much on Monday), and went ballistic on supper.
How's that for a recap?
Anyway, at first, when I got hungry around 7pm, I was gonna just make a protein shake and be good, cause I was tired and wanted to go to bed early. So, I added a banana to my strawberry protein powder (for potassium, since I had a canned Amy's Vegetarian Chili over half a baked potato with guacamole and shredded cheese for lunch, lots of salt in canned foods and cheese) mixed with half milk, half water in blender.
As I was putting the milk back in the fridge, saw the leftover onion soup takeaway that had been there since Saturday. (When I have congestion issues, onion soup works way better for me than chicken.)
There it was--with gobs of cheese, with croutons.
Ah, damn. I heated it up and ate it.
Blew my points to hell.
Fell asleep on the couch from 10 pm to 1 am. Read a graphic novel (100 Bullets, vol 2). Am trying to get sleepy again. Am not eating. Not noshing. Not allowing self to even go in the kitchen.
I'm really disappointed about messing up what had been a sorta decent day.
Today is another day. I'll get a few hours shut-eye and then make a humongous note to EAT MY SNACKS and plan what I'll eat at suppertime and remember to accept being a little hungry (or a lot) if necessary.
Try and try again.
No wallowing in the dust.
I'm gonna have a bit of water now.
Nitey.
Some quotes and notes I scribbled down (probably imperfectly) while watching Oprah's show yesterday about her regain and her plan to get fit again:
Oprah's exercise plan:
cardio for 30 mins a day
resistance training 5 days a week
Oprah's tools:
Best Life Diet Book
Posted meal plan in her kitchen
~~sample meals
~~~~Bkfst: egg whites, steel-cut oatmeal, green tea
~~~~Dinner: salmon, sweet potato, green vegetable(s)
She also has set aside time for her health and personal needs in her daily schedule.
Segment with Carnie Wilson: she now weighs 168, down 50 pounds in the last 6 months, and is expecting her second baby. And I must say, she looks absolutely, glowingly beautiful. Carnie said she had to get at the bottom of her own soul, asking "What do I really want?"
Bob also emphasized taking time and effort to get to the true answer to some some questions.
Fundamental Questions asked by Bob Greene in his Best Life Diet:
* Why are you overweight?
* Why do you want to lose weight?
* Why have you been unable to lose weight in the past?
~~
UPDATE: I love these questions--as a response to Bob's questions-- asked by Janice of Our Lady of Weight Loss!
"This is a problem in your life that will remain a problem in your life for the duration of your life."
-- Bob Greene
"Bottom line: you have to plan your meals."
--Oprah
"There's absolutely no way that I'm ever,ever going to maintain my weight without some regular cardio exercise...at least 30 minutes a day"
--Oprah
Oprah's exercise plan:
cardio for 30 mins a day
resistance training 5 days a week
Oprah's tools:
Best Life Diet Book
Posted meal plan in her kitchen
~~sample meals
~~~~Bkfst: egg whites, steel-cut oatmeal, green tea
~~~~Dinner: salmon, sweet potato, green vegetable(s)
She also has set aside time for her health and personal needs in her daily schedule.
Segment with Carnie Wilson: she now weighs 168, down 50 pounds in the last 6 months, and is expecting her second baby. And I must say, she looks absolutely, glowingly beautiful. Carnie said she had to get at the bottom of her own soul, asking "What do I really want?"
Bob also emphasized taking time and effort to get to the true answer to some some questions.
Fundamental Questions asked by Bob Greene in his Best Life Diet:
* Why are you overweight?
* Why do you want to lose weight?
* Why have you been unable to lose weight in the past?
~~
UPDATE: I love these questions--as a response to Bob's questions-- asked by Janice of Our Lady of Weight Loss!
Blessed are you that hunger now, for you shall be satisfied."
~~Luke 6:21
Yeah, I know that I'm taking this famous Beatitude out of context by making it about dieting, instead of the spiritual context of the Sermon on the Mount. But I think the Lord will understand. :) After all, gluttony is a sin, and the Word is there to teach us, to help us correct ourselves, to assist us as we work to overcome our weaknesses, right?
So...back to my appropriation of the Be-Attitude:
This was part of my devotion for yesterday. And I had to stop and consider it in MY current context--which is the one where I work to beat down my gorging inner beast.
Dieters are generally hungry. Most honest diet books admit it. Anytime you go from, say, 4000 or 6000 or 3000 or 8000 calories down to 2000 or 1600 or 1200, you will be hungry. (Yeah, I know the very low carb diets have an elimination of hunger through ketosis aspect, but most of us don't or won't or can't do that sort of eating.) Some, like Dr. Beck, make it clear that being a grown-up means putting up with hunger pangs until it's time to eat according to one's meal plan. Most diets offer tricks and strategies to get us to feel full on fewer calories, on better foods, because hunger sets us up for gorging.
We dieters will face hunger. It's just how it is.
We don't like to hear this, do we? We don't like to feel deprived, hungry, peckish. And it's not just about the body (though that wars against us). We want the emotional comfort and satisfaction of eating what we want, when we want, or a reasonable facsimile.
But dieting means some acceptance of being hungry.
If we--and that means mostly ME, right now--can accept that there really is a blessing in tolerating a current and ongoing suffering of periodic levels of hunger in order to achieve ongoing and later levels of better health and mobility (the grown-up reasons) and a more attractive physique (the shallower motivation), then I--and we-- can see that the latter blessing (health, beauty) are greater than the current pseudo-blessing of eating what we want, when we want.
Whoa, that was a keyboard-full.
Result of all this pondering? I went to bed Monday a little hungry. I was at 1700 calories, and if I had a meal, even a mini-meal, I'd bust the 1800 I was shooting for. So, I sucked it up and went to bed with that little pang in me.
I've awoken with an appetite, I can tell you. And the scale showed a downward move from yesterday by -.6 lbs. So, that puts me at 276.2 today.
This is Tuesday. This is my mindset right now: Let yourself be a little hungry.
It's probably a good mental adjustment for all of us with weight issues--but how can we hold on to it, how can we live with it? I dunno. I'm just putting this out there: When the pangs start hitting, and what we plan to eat is X --which is low-cal and healthful and as filling as reasonably possible--and what we want to eat is Y--which is excessive and non-healthful and gorgeful--let's call ourselves blessed if we choose the healthful way, even if it leaves us not totally satisfied NOW. There's a greater satisfaction coming. A greater blessing.
Today is the second Christmas for us in the Latin culture. It's Three Kings Day. We celebrate the arrival of the Magi to offer gifts to the one born in Bethlehem and born to be king. (None of the gifts were cakes, cookies or sweets, I might add. All valuable and useful and symbolically significant, but not fattening. Heh.) I used to wake up to gifts under my bed on this morning when I was little. The Christmas season ends today, the Twelfth Day of Christmas. The Feast of the Epiphany.Hunger as a blessing is my epiphany this week. I hope I can hold onto this blessing.
And this is my gift: I am giving myself today is the gift of a day of healthful eating and of accepting the occasional twinges of hunger and unsatisfied cravings, so that I, the Roly-Poly Princess may one day find satisfaction in being the Slender Queen of my empire.
Be a Magi to yourself today. Give yourself something that enriches your moment or your week or your life. Maybe an inspirational book or a calming cd or just go outside and sing a song in the sunlight. Maybe just ten minutes of positive thoughs: be grateful for the gift of life. Write a love letter to someone you haven't appreciated enough with words. Donate to a food bank in your name, and eat less so someone can eat more.
Seek an epiphany of your own. Be quiet and consider yourself and your life and your habits. Is there something you can come to realize that will be of help to you in any way, small or great?
And let me know what gift you gave yourself and what epiphany you may have had...
Happy Tuesday!
"A name is just a box we put ideas in. What matters is that I understand my relationship with food. Then I can start figuring out the consequences my environment, my thoughts, and my actions have on that relationship and make plans to manipulate these things to my best advantage. I don't know what the official definition of addiction is, though I could look it up on dictionary.com or the DMV-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). I don't know if what happens in my brain when there is leftover cake in the break room is the same thing that happens when an alcoholic is inside a liquor store or a smoker is inhaling second-hand smoke at a bar. It would be interesting to know, but I doubt it matters unless you're working on a cure for addiction. Right now I'm just trying to cope with the way I am. Giving my problems a name seems less relevant than managing them."--by the Pasta Queen
~
The following snippet is from "New Bariatric Device Doesn't Require Surgery, Can Be Removed"
Okay, just for perspective, that would be like me losing 22 pounds in 3 weeks, more than a pound a day. Yoiks! (And I calculated that only using my "excess body weight", not my total weight.)
I'm gonna keep an eye on this one. I'm curious to see how the trials end up in terms of results. I think a lot of folks who don't want to be cut into or cut up (intestinally) may see this as a viable alternative, especially if it has far, far fewer complications than bypass or gastric-banding.
~~
Dr. Randal Baker, a local bariatric surgeon, said he and his partners are negotiating with three well-known companies who are bidding to buy the rights to the device he invented, the patented Full Sense Bariatric Device.
The two-section implement, made of silicone and nitinol, sits at the end of the esophagus and just inside the stomach. It is inserted through the mouth by a flexible tube called an endoscope and kept in place by three sutures. Baker said the pressure of the lightweight device is enough to convince the brain that the stomach is full.
The device induced significant weight loss in animal trials in dogs, Baker said. Last month, he and two other doctors inserted the device into three people in Mexico. He said they reported losing 18 percent of excess body weight in less than three weeks, without overwhelming hunger.
Okay, just for perspective, that would be like me losing 22 pounds in 3 weeks, more than a pound a day. Yoiks! (And I calculated that only using my "excess body weight", not my total weight.)
I'm gonna keep an eye on this one. I'm curious to see how the trials end up in terms of results. I think a lot of folks who don't want to be cut into or cut up (intestinally) may see this as a viable alternative, especially if it has far, far fewer complications than bypass or gastric-banding.
~~
For those wondering what I look like these days (at least from the bust up), I opened a Blog To Lose account, and posted a profile pic there.
I tried to post my Princess Dieter avatar, but it kept coming up freaky-fuzzy-looking. Ah, well.
~
I tried to post my Princess Dieter avatar, but it kept coming up freaky-fuzzy-looking. Ah, well.
~
Well, I flipped.
No. I didn't go nuts. (I think.) I am on a different sleep schedule.
I'm now up mornings. (Normally, I sleep days, am up at night.) Staying awake for over 24 hours in order to go to Josh's Organic Garden and Whole Foods, and then eating with hubby, that kept me up long enough that I zonked out in the late afternoon and got up at 4:30 am. If I can stay on daytime hours, that would be VERY convenient, as I have a medical appointment on Thursday. (Wednesday will be, I hope, my return to exercise day, back to Pilates after two weeks of wheeziness. I'm still feeling some congestion and breathing is off, but I'm definitely mending. fingers crossed...)
As an aside, got on the scale today (though I shouldn't have) and it was a bit encouraging. It was 276.8. So, down a pound since January 1, though it was only yesterday that I started eating right.
Breakfast today, first day when I have all sorts of happy, produce-type goodies in da house:
Easy Cheesy Eggie-Veggie Scramble--This is one of my fave "diet" breakfasts, though I make em with any sort of egg whites, fresh or carton. I have organic eggs and organic egg whites in the fridge, but I had this, too, and wanted more color this morning, hence the yellow fakeyness. I know, not "clean", but clean enough.
How I make it:
~I spray the pan with PAM Olive Oil organic spray. I heat up chopped fresh zucchini, mushrooms, onions, and red pepper until they're hot, but still with some crispness. (I hate soggy-mushy veggies.)
Note: I usually add tomatoes, too, and on occasion some spinach, but today, I decided to save the tomatoes for lunch or supper, as I have a beautiful organic, raw, fresh spinach-pesto I can use on them. Use all and any the veggies you like, just sop up the moisture after cooking, or your eggs will be watery and nasty.
~I dump them into a bowl and blot the veggies and the pan to keep from watering down the scramble.
~I respray the pan with PAM or use a little Smart Balance to oil the pan, and then I add the veggies back in and enough egg beaters/egg whites to cover most of the veggies. (Obviously, the more veggies, the more egg whites.)
~I cook them partway as if I were making an omelette (ie, raising edges to let runny egg bit get cooked under). When it's 3/4 done, I then scramble it until it's cooked to my satisfaction. I either sprinkled grated cheddar (low fat or regular, depending on what's on hand, but yeah, low-fat is better) or break up a slice of American cheese (low fat) and mix it in. The American melts better and makes a cheesy sort of sauce around the scramble. Nice.
Depending on how much egg whites and cheese (type) you use, it can run from 2 points to 6 points (for a bountiful serving). And you can get one to three servings of veggies.
I added about a cup's worth of chopped veggies this AM, so I got two servings. With my cup of fresh apple juice, I got 3 servings of fruits and veggies with my breakfast for 6 points. And it was yummy.
I decided to save the toast I would normally have had, cause I wanna have my Ezekiel Bread/Gardenburger/Cheese sandwich for lunch with fruit.
Tip for today: Get your veggies in. Aim for 7-9 servings or more to keep full and get those nutrients taht come in colorful produce. Whatever sandwich you have, load it with cucumbers, peppers, lettuce, and tomato. Avocado, while having more calories, has healthful fats and tastes wonderful with chicken and turkey or on veggie-cheese sandwiches. Maybe sprouts and slices of onion, if you like that. Take carrots and celery sticks for your snack, with something heartier, like hummus or a light yogurt dip for flavor. Have fruit for dessert or snack. Make a lite veggie soup for an appetizer (and batch the extra to take for lunch to work or have as a snack the rest of the week). Don't let any meal or snack be produce-deprived.
Happy Monday!
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