Fat Gals on Television--Drop Dead Diva and Huge and why I watch them...

Warning: I ramble like mad. Sorry. Don't feel like revising and proofing over and over to get to essay-like laser focus. Heh.

Television--and cinema--tend not to depict US folks the way we really look. Most of us aren't toned, trim beauties and hunks with white-white teeth and perfect makeup, hair, clothes who look stunning the second we wake up and don't look droopy and pooped the moment we go to bed.

Go to a mall (one not frequented in high numbers by foreign tourists) and look around. What do we look like? For the most part, we're decently groomed, but not glamorous. There will be the occasional really elegant or really updated stylish types, but most just go for comfort. And we tend toward the pudgy side of things, with many of us walking around sporting quite a bit more adipose tissue than is desirable, fashionable, even healthful.

But on television, size 2 rules among women. Should an actress dare to show 10 lbs more than she should by the Hollywood standard, she's gonna have her butt or belly or thighs pasted across tabloids and talked about on Access Hollywood or TMZ and some celebrity blogger will taunt her. (Jennifer Love Hewitt can attest to this.)

Should a formerly glamorous beauty turn flabby and fat (Elizabeth Taylor years ago, Kirstie Alley today), she will be made fun of by late night hosts and everyone under the sun. Maybe they'll be sponsored by some convenience diet program. Because, God forbid, a celebrity look like the rest of us.

Oh, and don't grow old. That's another sin, unless you're a man, who can still get great roles and be a romantic lead at age 65+ (Harrison Ford, Sean Connery,Robert Redford, etc).

But television is right there in our homes, and while it will happily lead or reflect changes in public mores and attitudes about sex or family structure or work or etc, it's sometimes really slow in showing the changing face --and ass--of America.

As a Latina, I know that some years ago I kept asking, "Where the hell are we? We're like 20% of the population, so where are we?" I mean, Freddie Prinze and Desi Arnaz are way in the past. What's happening now?

Then  Jennifer Lopez made box office, Cristina Aguilera and Ricky Martin and Shakira made the charts and MTV's videos, and George Lopez's show gave us a family-face. Sophia Vergara is on Modern Family now (and funny, too). Cute young Latin performers are on TV (the half-Puerto Rican family on Wizards of Waverly Place). Hunkorama Adam Rodriguez makes the girls go mmmm on CSI: Miami. (Although, really, for a city that's more than 50% Hispanic, that show needs some more Latin face flavor and don't get me going on CSI: NY's dearth of Hispanics.)

So, I ask less often about the ethnicity factor and more often about the fat factor. Where are the pudgies, chubbies, zaftigs, chunkies, and fatties? We're a fat country. We're not a country of ectomorphs. We're roundies. J-Lo made the big Latin butt popular among non-black, non-Latin folks, will Drop Dead Diva and HUGE make the bigger gal popular in television programming of the future?

Dunno, but I tune in. I loved DDD from day one and haven't missed an episode. The actors are excellent and the show is fun and funny while often addressing important issues other than fat-related ones. Even my husband sits to watch with me without fail. The lead actress is plus-size who comes across smart AND pretty AND talented. She may have the soul of a skinny blonde inside, but what we see is an attractive, successful lawyer of a Lane Bryant size brunette. And it's about fricken time a plus-size lead actress can be seen as SEXY AND COMPETENT.

While we've seen big gals featured before--notably Roseanne, whose eponymous show let us into the often cantakerously dysfunctional world of a supersized wife/mom/blue-collar worker. But Roseanne wasn't put out there as desirable or super-successful. She was the tough-talking, no nonsense, unglamorous big gal married to a blue-collar supersized hubby with often rebellious kids.

But at least she wasn't a vindictive whack job like Mimi in Drew Carey Show--with the clown makeup and insane outfits that said, "I'm fat, so yeah, I am a big joke." It was okay for Drew to be the fat guy who gets the cute gal. Mimi was just the fat gal with no fashion sense and a psychosis.

Blasting to the past a bit, I have fond memories of tuning in to a new show called THE PRACTICE and seeing a size 22 or so Camryn Mannheim as a regular (even with her notable man woes). A less-cute precursor to DROP DEAD DIVA's Jane, she was a a smart lawyer gal (though not as brilliant as others in the team). Again, though, unlike DDD's Jane, who gets warm "almost passionate" looks from one of her colleagues and has a passionate relationship (spoiler: now off) with a prosecutor, Camryn's character was not drawn as an effervescent object of like and some lust.

Anyone remember LESS THAN PERFECT?  A show with two less-than-slim gals. Both Sherri Shepherd and Sara Rue have lost weight now, and Sara, who was the show's lead actress, now plugs Jenny Craig. But hey, I liked seeing a show with gals who displayed more "average" American bodies.

Back to today: I'll say this--at least the characters in HUGE are more like regular fat teens. Some are overprotected and meek, some are rebellious, some are super-hot-to-trot, all have issues with either their bodies or society's rejection of their bodies or both.

I don't remember my teen years as being all lightness and joy. I was chubby --by my own estimation and by size category, as I wore a size 10 at start of my teens and a 12 by graduation from high school. Old school measurements, not the revised ones of today, meaning I wasn't really THAT  big, geesh. My hips were 41 inches at age 18, and I weighed 139 pounds, which I remember one cousin going, "Whoa!" when I measured them. I wish my hips were that "big" now (for reference, they're 54.5 inches) . I used to read diet books that had calculations that told me I should weigh 123. Right. Yeah. Like that ever happened.

No wonder I couldn't enjoy being NORMAL weight

I rode bike. I did yoga. I walked for miles. I swam for hours in my sister's complex's pool. I loved the beach and let my poochy belly (got it from mom) show in bathing suits. I didn't FEEL fat in my activities. But society/diet books told me I was overweight and should reduce. So, I couldn't enjoy my body fully, though I was normal.

It makes me furious to this day to think about it.

So, even with HUGE not being anything outstanding yet --one can hope. I base that hope on the really charismatic presence of unkempt, snarky, cellulite-baring Nikki Blonsky. (I never saw this gal in anything else she's done, but man, she's good, good in a way Ricki Lake never, ever was when she was "the cool young fat actress of the moment." Although, to give Ricki her props, she's gotten better. Saw her in an indie flick not too long ago, and thought, "Oh, she's finally learned to act.")

HUGE is the television drama version that reminded me of an MTV documentary I watched a while back that showed teens at a weight loss camp.  It had the same vibe as HUGE, maybe was an inspiration, dunno.

 Some critique the fact that the show doesn't feature someone with total body acceptance without reservations (ie even Will has issues). Well, I had fat friends as a teen. Not merely "a bit fatter than me", but fat. Big. Round. Obese.

And not one had total body acceptance. Every single one wanted to lose weight. One underwent a radical weight loss over one summer vacation: left school in spring quite obese, and returned to the new year's term normal weight. She must have pretty much fasted, and protein fasts were very popular in the seventies. She got a huge boost of confidence, was more active in social events, and got a boyfriend. Clearly, it made a "huge" difference to her life.

I'd find it unrealistic if the characters in HUGE really were totally happy being large in a society that hates large, big in a culture that considers big a fatal flaw, particularly for females. I might believe in a character that believes in fat/self acceptance, but still wishes she could "fit in" to a slimmer world just cause it's EASIER. I've heard that view spoken by gays: "It would just be easier to be straight." Doesn't mean they hate themselves, just means that they wish day to day life was less full of obstacles.

I suspect Nikki Blonsky's "Will" may say she likes herself the way she is and it's going to prove to be nearly all talk by season's end. Maybe she doesn't have the profound self-loathing so many of us have had/have about our fat, but I suspect that it was universal in my teen circle in high school: the chubs all wanted to have the figure of the bat girls, cheerleaders, desired girls in school. The ones the boys rated 9 or 10. We wanted to shop in normal clothes stores, not Lane Bryant.

But even so, a drama needs conflict. External and internal. Otherwise, boring.

HUGE has an assortment of issues under the skin of its fat characters, and I hope the show improves so I don't just tune in cause "Hey, a show with fellow fatties." No, I want it to be a show that really delves into the issues big teens (and by extension big adults) face in a big-despising society.

At least Gina Torres and Nikki make it really watchable (as do a couple other actors doing a very nice job, imo). I like these two ladies a lot. They both have charisma.

And I admit, that I had this moment of intense sympathy and even admiration when Gina Torres' camp director character, when offered a special food one evening, says, "I don't eat after dinner. Ever." (I paraphrase, as I don't remember the exact wording of the script.) And she repeats it.  This is a character who has lost a lot of weight and is paying the price, in terms of discipline and self-sacrifice, to keep it off. The total seriousness and even bit of anger in the tone as the lines were delivered gave me chills.

It's not easy being fat. But it's not easy staying slim, either, as I think we're going to see more of in the show.

So, I'm hanging in there with DROP DEAD DIVA (yay, me loves Jane!) and HUGE (just okay, but me loves Gina and Nikki). I'm all for employing the fat in Hollywood. :D

X-Weighted and Marichu

This is a repeat episode from 2007, but it does show what being a junk food/take-out junkie will do to your body. Both Anthony and Marichu (the Mrs.) were obese. They were also clearly feeling the damage to one's self-esteem that so often comes with being so large.

Marichu had to deal with clutter issues, and not just body clutter--house clutter. (I'm a hoarder, so I know of clutter .) And you could see that the pain of change was weighing on her as much as her fat. She was very weepy and her face was this harrowing mask of depression. Hard to watch.

She couldn't even celebrate her 32 pound loss at the mid-point weigh-in (at three months). Honey, 32 pounds in 3 months is a VERY good weight loss rate. Are you kidding me?

I wanted to slap her.

But I realize that she felt she was working so hard that she should have lost, I dunno, 50?

Not how it works. Fat comes on as easy as pie, goes off harder than heck.

It's such a shame she couldn't jump up and down with joy for that 32 lb loss. I got so tired of hearing, "Was it worth it?" Yeah. If you didn't gain, if you lost, it's worth it, cause not doing anything, girl, just makes you FATTER.

I should add her hubby was also not celebratory over losing 36 lbs in 3 months. What is with these people? Do they have SAD or something?

At the end, they both lost big, looked better, made inroads into making their lives more vital and enjoyable. Marichu in part did this by passing her second attempt at her lifeguard test (she failed 3 of 4 tests the first time). And Anthony did it by engaging in kickboxing and realizing he'd been so miserable for years, but that he could be happy again. (Marital issues came to the fore, as it's bound to when people start to assess and make changes to their lives.)

It was really great to see Marichu and Anthony both look so much more alive--their faces no longer tragic masks. And the kids now have so much of a better shot at NOT becoming as obese as their parents, as they learn to cook healthful meals and learn to enjoy fruits and veggies, instead of just consuming fast food fare.

Final tally: Marichu lost 66 lbs (originally weighed 245, ended up at 179) and a total of 26 inches. Anthony lost 63 pounds (original weighed 347) and a total of 22 inches. Man, she beat him. How 'bout that?

At the finale, Marichu was able to glow and smile and show elation. She looked great after the makeover (hair and clothes). The frumpy, uberwhiny, hangdog-faced depressed housewife was gone. The Girl was back!

Nice.

Now, that was 2007 the show first aired (and I don't know if that means the weight loss occurred in 2006 or 2007). But I would like to know how they're doing now. Have they lost more? Have they maintained? Have they regained?

One thing I hate about these weight loss programs--X-Weighted, You Are What You Eat, to a lesser extent The Biggest Loser--is that they don't do adequate follow-up. As a viewer, I'm interested in what happens when real life strikes.

After all, the ranch is not real life. It's...intervention. It's...treatment.

I'd like regular follow-ups of ALL the contestants to see the ones who succeeded AFTER the show ends. The ones who keep it off, they're the ones to learn from, frankly. But I think it's important to see the ones who do not succeed in maintaining, because we learn from that, too. I know the first TBL follow-up was too upbeat and felt like a whitewash. Subsquent ones reported online were less slanted.

While I don't know how this couple is continuing to do, if her facebook photo is anything to go by, Marichu is doing great and looking faboo. Gives a gal hope. :)

I think one of the good things of shows like this one is the clear depiction of how losing weight can impact so much of a person's life. Fat gets in the way. I know that fat-acceptance folks mean really well. But fat gets in the way of doing so much, of going places, of feeling able to stretch into new avenues. I know fat encapsulates me in more ways than the physical.

Marichu's story--and Anthony's--show how getting leaner and stronger opens doors to living.

~

UPDATE: The original Anthony/Marichu show re-aired today (I watched part while having a snack), and I thank Beth for giving the heads-up in the comments section about an update. If you are curious about what happened to this couple AFTER the show, go here and scroll down for the follow-up info.

THE BIGGEST LOSER'S Aubrey Made Me Mad and Carla Made Me Sad

I toggled between THE BIGGEST LOSER last night and AMERICAN IDOL. (Hubby is an AI fan, I didn't want to miss all of TBL, and I refuse to record shows. It's like robbing the future to me in an odd way. It has to be some real treasure for me to bring out the record function. And I haven't recorded anything in, oh, a couple years or more.)

I'd like to say that Aubrey has some fricken nerve. There, said it.

Joelle has been annoying for a while, so it's not surprising she was in some sort of vacant-stare denial, yet again. I really think she has some sort of weird issue--don't know if it's depression or what, but there is somethign really off about Joelle and her reaction and her masklike face. If I were her, I'd head to a doc and get checked out. I mean that seriously, too. Apathy and that sort of frozen look can be symptoms. I get that way when my thyroid is out of range and when I'm really depressed.

So, Joelle's leaving is not unjust. And Carla had a right to be ticked off. You could see how very much Carla wanted to get healthy at the ranch (and on her own). You could taste her desire to stay. Sad. So sad she had to go.

However, I do think that she had the wrong attitude at follow-up reunion. Deciding you have the right to start tongue-lashing someone yet again--no matter how much they hurt you--is no way to make progress. Venting may have felt good, but it wasn't going to get any epiphanies out of Joelle or anyone. Sorry, I wouldn't sit there and let you rip on me, either, not in public. Take it private, sort it out, or agree to go your separate ways. Hash it out in private, then go on camera if you want to explain what happened. But the camera makes a public event of what I consider totally a private one, and that felt a bit too weirdly voyeuristic a moment for me.

Now, Aubrey: Who the hell is she, Miss I lost Two Pounds In A month When I Was Supposedly Working Out Four Hours A Day, to rip on Joelle the way she did about slacking off? Is this hypocritical or what?

I agree that she, like the other contestants, had the right to ASK questions about commitment and rationales in order to make the BEST choice of who to boot, but she had no moral right to act like she's the queen of 100% effort. She totally turned into a very unappealing person in that moment, and part of me hope she ends up on the chopping block next time for that little ugly bit of her real self showing. Although, part of me wonders if her going off on Joelle was really a strange psych thing of her berating her own self for her poor efforts at home.

Could be, ya know?

I hope Carla reaches her goal of being the woman to lose the most weight on the show. She's got gumption. I'd like to see her succeed. And even if she and Joelle never patch things up, I hope they can forgive each other in their own hearts and move one healthfullly.

~

What Do TBL and Diet Tribe Have In Common Besides Diet and Exercise?

While watching Diet Tribe tonight, it struck me again that Morgan had gastric bypass, though she never got below 255 lbs, and she regained weight. And that reminded me of Ron from The Biggest Loser, who had bariatric surgery...and I guess regained, too? Not sure, as I missed a whole buncha episodes.

I wonder if we're gonna start seeing a lot of WLS regainers on these diet shows now. Hmm.

~~

Catching Diet Tribe on On Demand

I caught Diet Tribe on Comcast On Demand. I'm enjoying it, especially the part with the therapist. It's cool that she was obese once, so she knows it's tough.

I have to say that Shawna is getting on my last nerve. I really want to well-up with empathy, but I'm watching her and have known gals like her--manipulative. The little girl voice saying the cutting thing so it doesn't seem like the cutting thing. The turning stuff so she's the center of attention. The girl may not even realize how manipulative and controlling and whiny and attention-seeking she is, but there it is. On my nerves.

On the other hand, I really like Megan. Her meeting with the therapist was really tough to hear, but she's eloquent and honest about her issues.

I do think the trainer had them doing stuff than no 280 pound woman should do--like the tire run and some other maneuvers that can only strain knees and ankles when said knees and ankles are carrying the weight of two people. I got so ticked at him when Morgan hurt herself. Good tv drama is not always good health-building--like with the drastic caloric curtailment and water pills some have used to make the TBL final weigh in lower.

On the happier side:

I got a serious yum-craving for those stuffed mushrooms Morgan made for their indoor picnic. Mushrooms and cheese--two of my favest things. I'm gonna get the fixings for them next time I shop. If you want the recipe--and it's 35 calories per stuffed mushroom--here it is: Four-Cheese Stuffed Mushrooms.

~

A Lot of Regain Among TBL Vets

I've stated it before, and it's worth reminding ourselves, that this is a lifelong battle. It does not end. Oprah is understanding this. And a lot of the veterans of THE BIGGEST LOSER are facing that, too.

MSNBC has a couple of interesting articles. If you're a fan of TBL, you may want to check these out, including the pics:


Did they keep it off? See TBL Contestants now...

Life After "Loser": "Every day is a struggle"

~

My Quickie Notes on Oprah's Show 1/5/09

Some quotes and notes I scribbled down (probably imperfectly) while watching Oprah's show yesterday about her regain and her plan to get fit again:

"This is a problem in your life that will remain a problem in your life for the duration of your life."
-- Bob Greene

"Bottom line: you have to plan your meals."
--Oprah

"There's absolutely no way that I'm ever,ever going to maintain my weight without some regular cardio exercise...at least 30 minutes a day"
--Oprah

Oprah's exercise plan:
cardio for 30 mins a day
resistance training 5 days a week

Oprah's tools:
Best Life Diet Book
Posted meal plan in her kitchen
~~sample meals
~~~~Bkfst: egg whites, steel-cut oatmeal, green tea
~~~~Dinner: salmon, sweet potato, green vegetable(s)

She also has set aside time for her health and personal needs in her daily schedule.

Segment with Carnie Wilson: she now weighs 168, down 50 pounds in the last 6 months, and is expecting her second baby. And I must say, she looks absolutely, glowingly beautiful. Carnie said she had to get at the bottom of her own soul, asking "What do I really want?"

Bob also emphasized taking time and effort to get to the true answer to some some questions.

Fundamental Questions asked by Bob Greene in his Best Life Diet:

* Why are you overweight?
* Why do you want to lose weight?
* Why have you been unable to lose weight in the past?

~~

UPDATE: I love these questions--as a response to Bob's questions-- asked by Janice of Our Lady of Weight Loss!